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Hsien Min
Singapore
49 Posts |
 Posted - 30 Jun 2004 : 16:37:07
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Xin chào from Vietnam! Am in Ho Chi Minh City at the moment, stressing out from work but also enjoying the colour and flavour of the city. Was watching TV5 late last night in the hotel, and these French critics were having quite an animated discussion on the topic "must we live under the shadow of terrorism?", no doubt under the influence of the renewed currency of Iraq (I was, in particular, amused that every time they referred to "Bush" I thought of the French for mouth, "bouche"). Anyway, it made me think of how much Saigon also used to be one of the great tragic cities, in the sights of an invading army, like Troy or Constantinople or Nanjing, and how much different it is today; although it had to wait until a super-strong Vietnamese drip coffee (I don't know how they do it, since most of the drip coffees I have in Singapore are medium-strength at best - but this one packs a punch... the kind that takes fifteen minutes to drip through and where the first sip can cause internal injuries!) for me to get the idea to re-start the Poetry Challenge on this new forum by putting some of these things together. So here goes.
Write a poem with the following six elements:
a. A city under threat (any threat)
b. "debate"
c. "tragic"
d. "terror"
e. "mouth"
f. "renew"
Cheers,
HM
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alf
Singapore
92 Posts |
Posted - 05 Jul 2004 : 15:12:04
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| Here's the perfect opportunity to work up something to read in KL :) |
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Hsien Min
Singapore
49 Posts |
Posted - 05 Jul 2004 : 16:47:59
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And here's what I've been working on over the weekend. Re-used a bit of the challenge text. Not yet sure what to make of it.
Leaving Saigon
Late, and the cab driver not catching Tan Son Nhat
International Airport, meant it was time for charades:
I stuck both hands flat out on either side and made
the airy edge of a whisper. If he understood
he yet kept tailing a garbage truck, and our having
to be at check-in within twenty minutes left no time
for cross-linguistic debate and failures to follow
instructions to overtake. The Vietnamese can be
sticklers for procedure, and we had to present ourselves
at the appropriate time. It brought to mind how
for a brief spell in the year of my birth, Saigon possessed
the second busiest airport in the world. Hard as it had been,
from the perspective of the Majestic Hotel, overlooking
the rooftops of the city, to fully comprehend how
this has also been one of the tragic cities of the world,
like Troy, Constantinople and Nanking, when the intrusion
of a 4,000 TEU container vessel ploughing serenely up
the Saigon River could warn only of the terror of commerce,
we ask for grace and mercy that this will not be our lot,
but we know that if we had to start over we could renew
ourselves in quite the same way: grabbing at heart,
butter in mouth, stern in spirit. All these people crowding
the departure hall weren’t yet fighting to get out,
and when I paid the fare and got our baggage onto the trolley
it was as though we were the all-but-conquered,
fleeing to where our safety could be guaranteed
for as long as we could be only waiting for the siege.
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alf
Singapore
92 Posts |
Posted - 06 Jul 2004 : 13:50:44
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Cheated a lot.
ATLANTIS SYNDROME
Who’d have cause to find it tragic, should
a tidal wave erase this little city?
Who indeed, could have cause for much pity
or call for fresh debate for common good,
on news of deep concern and urgency?
Apart from silence before the nine o’clock
news in brief, the usual dose of shock,
pundits mouthing off, some petty currency
quietly withdrawn from market boards, who cares,
to be candid, when a minor nation ends?
No doubt they had it coming, we'd say. Shit happens.
What terror is renewed: with grim affairs
and grave talk, shadows, tougher laws, weapons
against nightfall, and drought, and uncertain friends?
previous version
ATLANTIS SYNDROME
Who’d have cause to find it tragic, should
say, a tidal wave erase this little sneer of a city?
Who indeed, could have cause for much pity
or call for fresh debate for the common good,
on a matter of deep public concern and urgency?
Apart from smug silence, then the nine o’clock
news, grieving relatives, the usual dose of shock,
pundits mouthing off, some petty currency
quietly removed from the boards, who cares,
to be candid, when a minor nation ends?
No doubt they had it coming, we’d say, Shit happens.
So our necessary terror is renewed: with grim affairs
and grave talk, shadows, tougher laws, weapons
against nightfall, and drought, and uncertain friends. |
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Hsien Min
Singapore
49 Posts |
Posted - 07 Jul 2004 : 21:10:58
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| Cheated? Didn't spot it (besides: you're not particularly bothered about metre...). Cheers, HM. |
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alf
Singapore
92 Posts |
Posted - 07 Jul 2004 : 23:04:46
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quote:
Originally posted by Hsien Min
Cheated? Didn't spot it (besides: you're not particularly bothered about metre...). Cheers, HM.
No, metre is specifically not metered in this one. I meant "mouthing" in place of mouth. |
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Hsien Min
Singapore
49 Posts |
Posted - 08 Jul 2004 : 13:22:24
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Isn't that allowed by usual "rules"? E.g. you'd used "renewed", and I was expecting someone to come up with "renewal"... Cheers, HM.
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alf
Singapore
92 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jul 2004 : 11:33:18
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quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Hsien Min
Isn't that allowed by usual "rules"? E.g. you'd used "renewed", and I was expecting someone to come up with "renewal"... Cheers, HM.
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-- Well I normally consider it "cheating" and wanted to say so. Consider "Dead" vs "Dying", for instance. or "Dead" vs "Deadening"
-- is it also cheating to change/update your post? |
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Melor Putih
Singapore
3 Posts |
Posted - 18 Sep 2004 : 17:45:24
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GHAZAL OF AN IRAQI GIRL
If terror were like a fortress we might,
Lay siege with cannons, blast it out of sight.
A tiger and a cockatoo may fight,
The debate's won by the one blessed with flight.
The tragedy of our condition is light,
When you know beneath the blood, bone is white.
Mother says the Euphrates will turn us white,
And stars come to renew our faith in light.
They worry too much what's wrong or right,
Mouths need to be fed, by day and by night.
I knew a Pied Piper who rode on the moon,
The sound of a sniper was his favourite tune.
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n/a
4 Posts |
Posted - 18 Aug 2005 : 04:11:18
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I have no idea of what is going on? [:o)]
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Hsien Min
Singapore
49 Posts |
Posted - 19 Aug 2005 : 00:29:32
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Well I don't know about the debate being won, but I rather like these lines:
quote:
A tiger and a cockatoo may fight,
The debate's won by the one blessed with flight.
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Poetry Challenge #1 on this new forum
