¹ Please groom me. Meet my mother.
² Thy love is better than ASMR to me.
³ Blessed are those who wake up in your bachelor pad.
⁴ To sleep with me, you must collect 2 cherries in 26 moves.
⁵ I possess no power to blacklist you, nor to love bomb you.
⁶ Our days together will never become ho-hum and blah.
⁷ To improve your blood sugar after exercise, rim me.
⁸ You'll be 66 when I turn __, which is your current age. I am 22.
⁹ There's a gap between 3 and 7 in your phone number.
¹⁰ My forehead heats up when you fist-bump / nose-boop me.
¹¹ Only my sweat can cure your severe hypotension.
¹² Rumour has it I've been flailing in the deep for you.  
¹³ The second perfect number is your birthday in June.
¹⁴ Add one to the number of times you called me whore bag.
¹⁵ Check your watch. It's time to poke me on Facebook.