what color would i be

i think if i were to be a color i would be sienna or the color of dirt just because dirt sounds like dirt and makes people think less of and maybe i would be ok with that because my deepest desire would be to surprise everyone because surprising everyone would beat being a disappointment any day any time any where any how any place any one any thing

some relationships are only good if they exist in your head and nowhere else

ruby sparks is the epitome of this and sometimes i wish i could do a ruby sparks sometimes i feel that love is nothing but a capitalist construct and we just come down to needing to survive and we kid ourselves into thinking of it, for it so maybe if we keep it in our heads it would be perfect and beautiful and everything in the world would be ok

sometimes i put my headphones on but i forget to play any music

sometimes i put my headphones on but i forget to play any music

sometimes i put my headphones on but i forget to play any music

sometimes i put my headphones on but i forget to play any music

bungee jumping from an airplane

what holds us down what keeps us grounded may not be real but everything we imagine to be the mind is more powerful than you know, you know? if it were possible to leap off something that wasn't even grounded in the first place maybe we'd all be achieving amazing things that were not possible, ever    like the very acknowledgement in itself kills

i am inside myself right now

true not true true not true its all the same really what with all the arguments from plato and the cult at the end of the day when it goes you go with it and everything you have even your virginity which you've kept cause you placed it on the pedestal your whole life to realize it's just like every other thing in you of you about you just a tag placed by you on you for you

kids

kids are kids i wonder if i will ever have kids and i wonder if i will ever break them like i broke the barbies i had when i was a kid i wonder what it is like to be a normal kid cause i don't think i was ever a normal kid what is normal anyway did you know that freud postulates that kids are obsessed with their discharges did you know that you were once a kid and that means you were once the biggest fan of your poop now if every kid was their poop's biggest fan, maybe i wasn't the abnormal kid after all.

discreet bank robbing

i want to rob your bank do you think that makes a good pick up line at all i would try it on you if i hadn't just told you about it i would slip it secretly and carefully into the conversation and then surprise you with all the gusto i have fluttering eyelashes twirling my hair and then releasing the words softly caressing them as i feel them reach your skin hi baby i would like to rob your bank

you're easily trapped when you have an excuse

you need to get out is all i get from people you need to get out you need to get out am i even trapped at all what makes me more trapped than you but its true and i know it cycles are kryptonite and who am i trying to kid when i say yes ill try or no i won't cause at the end of the day every word i utter every thought that surfaces is nothing but blatant excuses maybe ill subscribe to scientology it might be the only path to freedom

my brain works out more than i do

i think if there were mileage calculations i could top marathons, or so i think just to make myself feel better as i think about everything else all a case of self praise through the day week month year what would happen if i could show everyone how toned my brain was maybe i'd get hitched immediately or maybe i'd realize everyone else was the same or worse, better oh the horror oh the horror thousand apologies am climbing back into my head right now

awkward elevator conversations

what is it about awkward elevator conversations its as though innate claustrophobia does not exist as a fickleness or even a divergence but as a thread of consistency that causes increased heart rates sweaty palms immediate activation of texting to the nonexistent whenever those metal doors wheel shut right before our eyes

all you ever need is an exit strategy

have a good one yet? always always always pocket one someplace reachable they are the most useful things to have cause anytime anywhere you might feel that acid rise up your gut and need to get away pop a few bottles of xanax, and then more and then run toward the first stop light you see just because   just pure inability to estimate inaccuracy always overoptimistic overpessimistic and then feeling fucked up later on so kids, don't tell me i didn't warn ya.